i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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