I just made out with a guy for $7.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
