We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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