when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
