I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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