"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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