The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize