He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
