we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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