He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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