your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
