I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
