By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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