I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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