I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
