I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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