good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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