They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
