Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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