worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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