if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
