i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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