I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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