Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
