the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
