well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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