the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
