Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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