I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
