Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
