he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
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Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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