So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
