I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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