I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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