Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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