toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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