Where did you get a picture of my penis
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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