He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
