Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
