i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
