normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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