Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
