dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
from now on my penis is your penis
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
