i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Text me some of your sweat
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
