I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
