Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
