Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
