Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
