two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
