i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
