and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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