Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
