Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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