i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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