feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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