she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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