im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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