Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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