i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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