I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
