I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
