why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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