I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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