i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
