we have pet lesbian snakes
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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