The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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