some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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