let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
