He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Even my vagina gasped.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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