Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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