Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
