I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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