Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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