My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
