I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
