He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
