I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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