I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
