youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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