She's JV to your varsity
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
