I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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