three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
